Category Archives: The Noble Breast

Look At Me, I’m Sandra Lee

 This essay was originally published on August 13, 2015. 

 

I have a beef with Sandra Lee. For about a week now, I’ve been reading snippets about how she’s been battling a post-operative infection following her mastectomy. I can empathize with her plight, even though I managed to remain infection-free before, during and after my surgery. What I’m not happy about is that details about her situation are sparse, other than the typical celeb stuff, like being walked into surgery by Governor Andrew Cuomo, her boyfriend, and wanting fresh flowers and glasses of wine during recuperation. I want to know the who, what, where, when, and why – because when you declare yourself an advocate for women with breast cancer, you give up the luxury of privacy.

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I’m Wondering (About Cancer Discrimination)

This essay was originally published on July 27, 2015.

Summer is always the sluggish time of year when it comes to work. It doesn’t matter what you do for a living – working during the summer is a drag. Commuting in hot weather via public transit saps your will to live (thankfully, I don’t have to endure that anymore), but so does that niggling feeling in the back of your mind that you’re not working because the evil forces are conspiring against you.

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The Argument For Remaining Flat

This essay was originally published on July 16, 2015.

A couple of months ago, I joined the Facebook group of the organization Flat & Fabulous. The members of this group have been diagnosed with breast cancer, had mastectomies (single and double), and elected to forgo reconstruction. Another fun fact about having breast cancer is that it isn’t always easy to put your breasts back if that is what you want. Many women aren’t aware of this, and it makes for some interesting debates in the breast cancer community.

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Here We Go Again (Mammograms)

This essay was originally published on July 9, 2015. 

 

“Sweet Jesus in a Jeep” is a popular expression of frustration I see time and time again on social media. I refrain from using it, since I am Jewish, but I’ve been known to verbally exclaim “Jesus Christ!” on a regular basis to express frustration about many things. At present, I am in a position where I am completely flummoxed, and there isn’t an adequate expression to describe my frustration with the raging mammography debate.

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Holding Pattern (Insurance Woes)

This essay was originally published on June 16, 2015.

One topic I’ve refrained from discussing on this blog is the health insurance issue. The reason is, up until a couple of months ago, I was one of those rare individuals who wasn’t constantly battling with my provider. Unfortunately, all that changed in April, and now I find myself in a holding pattern while a very patient patient advocate wages war on my behalf. Is that too confusing? Maybe I should have referred to the advocate as “diligent”. Well, since I am metaphorically hamstrung at the moment, I will indulge in the pun.

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Woman Dysphoria

This essay was originally published on June 3, 2015.

I have no problem admitting that I’m more than a little obsessed with the Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner story. For me, it goes way beyond living with gender dysphoria for one’s entire life; I find myself thinking, why would a man want to become a woman? I realize that is a very simplistic question, and the answer is far from black-and-white. The reason I’m asking is because women generally rank higher on the level-of-bullshit scale than most men do. Life can be so much harder for women because we love to make it harder for ourselves. Yes, you heard me – some of us revel in the misery and drama instead of rising above it. Go ahead, grab the eggs, tomatoes, and heads of lettuce and prepare to start flinging them in my general direction.

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Donate Some Thought

This essay was originally published on June 1, 2015.

Scamming has gotten to the point where we can joke about it. The majority of us know those poorly written e-mails from Nigerian royalty promising multimillion dollar awards are scams. The problem is, we now have scams coming at us from every direction, and it’s getting much harder to spot them. To further exacerbate our confusion, legitimate, licensed charities are in on it. They couldn’t possibly be scamming us, could they?

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That Fateful Mammogram

This essay was originally published on May 26, 2015.

May 24, 2014 was the day I had my first-ever mammogram at age 47. I was flip about it. I told my Facebook friends I was going to do battle with the “hamburger press” for the first time, and afterwards, I said it really wasn’t a big deal. I went for coffee with a new friend. I got a frantic phone call from my doctor at eight o’clock that night advising me to go for more screening. Here we are.

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Tamoxifen, Sandra Lee, Mammography, and DCIS

This essay was originally published on May 13, 2015.

Who likes buffets? If you do that’s totally fine. I won’t begrudge you, but I will share my thoughts:

I think buffets are evil. I think they are a bastion for those among us who have annoying food proclivities that border on being textbook eating disorders. They are all about quantity as opposed to quality. They illustrate the inherent gluttony of North Americans who think that multiple trips to the food troughs qualify as exercise. Number of times I’ve been to Las Vegas: three; number of buffets I ate at: zero. They remind me of my insane Canadian family.

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