I’m Going To Hell

I’m a tad behind the times in political news, and in an effort to catch up, I’m here to tell everyone that yes, I am going to hell. If pressed to cast a primary ballot this very second, my vote would not go to Hillary Clinton. It would go to Bernie Sanders. Madeleine Albright and Gloria Steinem can chastise me all they want, but in my opinion, Hillary is not the right person for the position of commander-in-chief.

The United States has become a dangerous place to live for a number of reasons. The rampant gun violence doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of what is really wrong in this country. While that in and of itself is plenty disturbing, there are a boatload of other issues that make America the most ass-backwards industrialized nation in the world. There are such serious obstructions being thrown up by the loudest, most ignorant voices, that the intelligent ones are no longer taken seriously. It’s gotten to the point where tuning out the bullshit becomes more difficult every day, especially now that presidential campaigning is in full swing. The thing is, we expect the voices of reason to eventually drown out the more preposterous ones, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Even the so-called smart people are gaffe-ing with alarming regularity.

I’ll be the first to admit that women generally get treated like crap in this country. We’ve come a long way in so many respects, but the underlying current of disdain for the female gender no longer bubbles under the surface. Gloria Steinem dedicated her life to fighting against it, and women of her generation and the ones that came after owe her a debt of gratitude for the inroads she made. Her brand of feminism, however, can come off sounding “militant” as I like to say, and women who subscribe to it give the rest of us a lot of fodder.

I’ve spent the majority of my life respecting feminism, but distancing myself from it at the same time because, truth be told, most times I like men more than I like women. Maybe that makes me a freak, but at this point, it’s too late to re-wire my brain into thinking otherwise. I’ve always gotten along better with men, and I’ve never been much of a girl’s girl. As I’ve gotten older, I have no problem speaking my mind, and I don’t usually give a damn what people think about me. Maybe I’m a rebel like Joan Jett, but at least I’m honest about who I am.

Hillary Clinton, I feel, is not honest about who she is. Physiologically, she is female. Now that we’ve established that , what goes on inside her head is anyone’s guess. Obviously, she’s got a thirst for power that will not be satisfied until she’s behind that big desk in the Oval Office. If I had the opportunity to interview her, the first question I would ask would  be, “Is winning the presidency your version of a revenge fuck?” I can almost guarantee that somewhere in the deepest recesses of her brain, she believes that becoming president will finally validate her existence, and make up for all the years of her husband’s philandering she chose to endure in order to satisfy her own agenda. That is the antithesis of feminism. Yet, according to Steinem and Albright, it is our duty as women to support her. A true feminist would have castrated her philandering husband (either literally or metaphorically), packed up her kids and gotten the hell out of there no matter who he was. Hillary chose to stay, and it is more than obvious why she made that decision. Preserving her proximity to power ensured that she would one day have the opportunity to snatch that power for herself. I would have had exponentially more respect for her if she had risked it all. Chances are, she would have been just fine.

Shame on Steinem and Albright for sounding like demented old bats at a time when women need powerful, reasonable voices to represent them. Ladies, it’s not about meeting boys or winding up in hell. Young women today need to know that the baton was successfully passed down from your generation to the ones that came after.

The notion of complete equality might never become a reality, but we’ve done very well for ourselves over the past several decades. It might not be what hardcore feminists hoped it would look like, but it’s much better than it was. It’s up to each and every one of us to process the information we receive, and make the best choices for ourselves. Whether it’s voting for a woman president, or cutting off our tits to save our lives, only we know what’s best for us. And if a man happens to factor into our decision-making, so be it. That doesn’t mean we’re weak heathens; it means that at this stage of the game, we might just be a little smarter than everyone thinks we are.

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